Behind The Garage Door

By Paul Kelley

Our industrious editor, Dorothy Acton, came to my house one day to pick up an article, and I showed her the back side of my garage door. It's covered with place cards I've saved from barbershop shows from 'way back. For those who aren't familiar with our past history, most shows were a parade of quartets plus the chorus from the Host Chapter. Oh yes, an emcee with some clever stuff, too.

The place cards were usually carried across the stage front by a very attractive young woman wearing a swimsuit. (Note: Not just a Bandaid!) She would smile brightly and place the card on an easel at the side of the stage. Of course, the card gave the quartet name and the beauty pranced off stage to appreciative applause. (Mostly men.) Even if the quartet was a stinker, it wasn't a bad show.

Dorothy recently came by, took a picture, asked for an article and--what you see is what you get!! These cards name society champs, novice champs, guest quartets, and chapter geniuses. Yours truly painted eight of these, and Bob Pettit did four (You guess). Others hidden in various piles.

Feeding the Beast within Us
Cookies and Pop Are Adjustable
By Stanley Tinkle, Quality Control Technician

Now that Julia Child, America’s first and best French Chef, has gone on to whip up those Great Croissants in the Sky, our fellow barbershop chapters will increasingly envy our resident baker, Ellie Majzler, whose cookies, cakes and brownies frequently appear on our table and cause stampedes at the break. After all, barbershoppers and wildebeests have a lot in common. When we know what we want, we don’t waste time about it. Ellie’s delicious concoctions deserve that we serenade her whenever possible, and her husband John tries to arrange for that to happen.

I’ve learned a lot about people by watching television, by the way. Consider those nature specials in which the animals gather to ambush each other at the watering hole. As the water dries up, they become less choosy about quality, and they never seem to care about muddying the water they’ll have to drink tomorrow.

We barbershoppers are somewhat more cultured than the wildebeests and warthogs on TV. We await our turn, and if our favorite cookie is missing tonight, we’ll generally try another variety, even if it’s a fig Newton. You may have noticed that your friendly purveyor of goodies—that’s me—occasionally adds something different to the offerings. For example, the short cookies with chocolate on their bottoms were a new item on August 16, and they disappeared like a shot. So we’ll continue them for a while. I should have guessed that they would be a sure winner, because they contain two of the basic food groups: chocolate and fat.

A cynic might think that I stock only the cheap stuff, in order to maximize the profits that the Chapter accrues from the refreshment bar. You’ll be relieved to know that there’s almost no truth to that accusation. Yes, our version of the top cookie--Oreos--is the Stater Brothers’ house brand, but we could easily buy Oreos at Stater Brothers if we chose to do so. But Oreos cost twice as much. So we spare no expense and go with the Stater brand. Quality is our primary criterion, second only to economy. It’s not widely known that as our designated Quality Control Technician, I frequently test all competing brands against Oreo by scraping the icing off them and tasting only the cookie part, which has the chocolate or lemon or peanut butter flavoring anyway. In fact, I now prefer to discard that gooey white stuff and eat only the cookie. A gourmet tip: you’ll find that a plastic library card lets you prepare an Oreo with economy of effort.

Two of our chapter stalwarts deserve our thanks for arriving early each Monday and preparing the drinks. Rich Spencer brews the coffee so that its gusto and bouquet are worthy of all of us bon vivants. And Ken Tillmanns selects the evening’s offering of beverages from our capacious cellars, chilling them down with his own home-made ice, imported direct from La Habra. You may have noted that we have a lot of unusual varieties of soda pop; our patrons are a discerning group. Who would have thought that the favorite soda of several baritones would be Dr. Pepper--or that it has to be diet Dr. Pepper, or caffeine-free Dr. Pepper! We aim to please, but occasionally we run out of your favorite brand. That may be the perfect opportunity to wet your falsetto with Aloha Maid Pass-O-Guava Nectar, which unaccountably has been a slow mover.

Man does not sing by water alone. If we are to power our passaggios, we need the energy that food provides. Ken, Rich and I welcome any suggestions that come to mind--about refreshments, that is. We’ll see you at the watering hole.

Curmudgery, etc.
by Paul Kelley

It's hardly new news that "SPEBSQSA" is going to be retained as our corporate name usage but "Barbershop Harmony Society" will be in front of the public henceforth. A lot of grumbling about that, particularly from our geriatric set. I happen to belong to that set, but agree with the change wholeheartedly. Shoulda' been a lot sooner.

And, Bob Harris is our new CEO! Surprise, surprise. He was picked after a search of select business experts. He ain't a singer and he's hot to improve some things that need changing for our financial future and indeed, our actual future. So, when things settle down, a lot of things will have changed, old faces disappeared, etc. Then we can all sit down, have a drink of something, bellyache a lot, sing a lot, then go home.

If Tom Neal, Pioneer Days Prime Mover, can really get another society going for quartets, good luck to him. Me? I ain't gonna live that long.

Editor's Note: This article was put on-line with an error, namely a typo calling Don Harris Bob Harris. It's now corrected, and we'll shoot the typist. Thanks to Jim Gordon for catching the goof.

Oh, Johnny
Researched by Dorothy Acton with help from Ed Mowbray

This research started with a canary. A friend gave me a singing canary to "bring more music into my life." As I watched Mr. Canary munching on a piece of apple, I pondered his name. Caruso? Elvis? No, he looked like a Johnny Appleseed sort of bird. So as I told him his new name, an old song popped into my head. "Oh, Johnny, Oh, Johnny, how you can sing" (improvisation required to suit the situation). And I wondered about the history of that old song.

"Oh Johnny, Oh Johnny, Oh!" was written by Ed Rose (lyrics) and Abe Olman (music) in 1917 and hung around awhile as a novelty number, being sung by Nora Bayes and Sophie Tucker. Its popularity surged over 20 years later with the collaboration of Orrin Tucker and Wee Bonnie Baker.

Orrin Tucker, trained to be a physician, instead led an orchestra that was well received but "unknown." His theme song was "Drifting and Dreaming." In 1939 he cut the old WWI tune "Oh Johnny," with one of his female vocalists "Wee" Bonnie Baker (Evelyn Nelson of Orange, TX). Wee (a nickname she got because she was short) Bonnie Baker had been recommended to Tucker by Louis Armstrong. The resulting hit was so big that FDR heard it performed at the White House. The song enjoyed popularity again in the 1940s as performed by Glenn Miller and the Andrews Sisters.

Ed Mowbray actually heard Wee Bonnie Baker in Peoria after the war, and he said that before the war she was singing in the Empire Room of the Palmer House in Chicago, and only the best played there. "Nobody I knew could afford to go to Palmer House," Ed said. Ed still has a phono recording of Wee Bonnie Baker singing "Oh, Johnny."

For a fascinating look at other songs published in 1917, see this website: http://www.worldhistory.com/wiki/1/1917-in-music.htm. One of the songs of that year was "Over There," and other musical landmarks were the birth of Nat King Cole and the death of Scott Joplin.

You can hear the song performed by Billy Murray and the American Quartet in 1917 at this website:
http://www.firstworldwar.com/audio/ohjohnnyoh.htm. This is an MP3 download, so a fast connection will serve you well. (This quartet sings extra verses we seldom hear.)

Oh, Johnny! Oh, Johnny! How you can love! Oh, Johnny! Oh, Johnny! Heavens above! You make my sad heart jump with joy, And when you're near I just Can't sit still a minute.

I'm so, Oh, Johnny! Oh, Johnny! Please tell me dear. What makes me love you so? You're not handsome, it's true, But when I look at you, I just, Oh, Johnny! Oh, Johnny! Oh!

Thank You To Another Secret Helper

We are very lucky to have generous members who help out in many ways. Our bulletin gets proofread by either Paul Lewis or Stan Haymaker, depending on who is out of town or has an ailing computer. Thank you, guys.

Can't Get Organized?

-- Time is the quality of nature that keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working. Anonymous.
-- Vision is not enough; it must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps; we must step up the stairs. Vaclav Havel.
-- Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. Michael McGriffy, MD.
-- My mind is like a steel Whatchamacallit. Anonymous.
-- Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein.
-- When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. Will Rogers.
-- Don't just do something. Stand there. Rochelle Myer.
-- Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim. George Santayana.
-- Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it is the only one you have. Emile Chartier.
-- Plans get you into things, but you've got to work your way out. Will Rogers.
-- I am rather like a mosquito in a nudist camp; I know what I want to do, but I don't know where to begin. Stephen Bayne.
-- We all have times when we think more effectively, and times when we should not be thinking at all. Daniel Cohen.
-- The middle of every successful project looks like a disaster. Rosabeth Moss Cantor.
-- Bailing water in a leaky boat diverts energy from rowing the boat. David Allen.
-- Talk does not cook rice. Chinese proverb.